After the DNC in Denver, the Republican convention is bound to look like a Bland Old Party. In this week’s “Column,” Courtney Haden notes that if doing U-eys was an Olympic sport, the Republican nominee could compete for the gold:

“If you don’t like John McCain’s position on something, just wait,” Haden writes. “He’ll conjure a new one for you pronto. It’s not just flip-flopping, it’s more like a whole gymnastics floor routine: he was against offshore drilling, now he’s for it; he opposed expanding the GI Bill until he supported it and then voted against it; he advocated privatization of Social Security, says now he’s against it but still supports it; and in a breathtaking acrobatic feat, he both supports and decries states displaying the Confederate flag.

“A man for all reasons. Is it truly straight talk if your aim is crooked?”

You can read “Column” and the rest of this week’s news, views and entertainment at www.bhamweekly.com