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Tag Archive | "church and state"

Proclamation of the Hypocalypse

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Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford

As revealed by Saint Larry the Divine

War on Dumb by Kyle Whitmire

Chapter 1

1 I looked and there in City Hall a door stood open. 2 And I heard a voice say, “It’s time to do something.” 3 At once I was in the chambers, and there stood a podium with the One strutting before it. 4 Behind the podium was a wide dais and on the dais sat nine councilors and in front of the dais sat department heads who had dominion over all the city works. 5 And behind the One stood 12 ministers from the churches of the city. 6 And I heard him say to them: “If we can have a National Day of Prayer and nobody gets upset, don’t get upset about this one here, and even if you get upset, get upset. We’re still going to have it.”

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Larry Langford: Sackcloth & Ashes Highlights

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Here are highlights from Mayor Larry Langford’s prayer rally. Click here for story and more videos.

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Larry Langford: Sackcloth and Ashes Part Two

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Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford loses the suit, keeps the Rolex. Find the story and more video here.

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Larry Langford: Sackcloth & Ashes Part One

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T.L. Lewis all but beatifies Mayor Larry Langford. Read the story and find more videos here.

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Langford sports sackcloth, ashes, Rolex

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Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford

Friday night more than 1,000 people gathered at Boutwell Auditorium for a prayer rally hosted by Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford.

At the arena entrance, ministers greeted visitors with sackcloths and ashes. The voice of James Earl Jones reading from Revelation boomed through the auditorium speakers. Above the crowd, two wide white banners hung from the ceiling. Each read, “A world without Jesus is a mess waiting to happen - Mayor Larry P. Langford.”

On either side of the stage, two projector screens displayed the Birmingham skyline with the message “A city not forsaken.” On those screens, the event began with an animated film of the last supper, crucifixion and resurrection.

Langford took the stage with a group from Indiana who had come to Birmingham to take part in the event. True to his word, Langford traded in his Gus Mayer suits for a burlap sack, although he did still wear a Rolex watch and designer shoes.

“The only reason he is here is because God put him here,” T. L. Lewis, pastor of Bethel Baptist Church, said of Mayor Langford at the end of a lengthy and raucous sermon. Lewis told the crowd not to tolerate “journalistic terrorism” and said that no one could harm Langford because God was protecting him.

Langford closed the event, drawing largely on his stock of political boilerplate.

“What in hell do you want?” Langford asked the crowd, a line he uses frequently. “There has got to be something in hell we want because we are fighting so hard to get there.”

Mayor Langford called the event because of rising crime in Birmingham. The city’s murder rate is out-pacing 2007 by more than 40 percent.

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Sackcloth and Ashes Highlights

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Sackcloth and Ashes Finale Part One

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Sackcloth and Ashes Finale Part Two

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More videos are on the way. Check back soon.

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Larry Langford: Sackcloth Proclamation

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Mayor Larry Langford to trade Gus Mayer suit for burlap sack. Read story here.

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Leapin’ Larry’s Prayer Proclamation

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Leaders to adorn sackcloth and ashes to fight crime

Langford\'s Sackcloth Proclamation

At Tuesday’s Birmingham City Council meeting, Mayor Larry Langford proclaimed Friday, April 25, a “day of prayer in sackcloth and ashes” in Birmingham.

FOLLOW THIS STORY: Langford sports sackcloth, ashes, Rolex (click here)

Birmingham Weekly reported two weeks ago that the mayor purchased 2,000 burlap sacks for ministers and other community leaders to wear at a Plan 10/30 summit.
To many Christians, sackcloth and ashes symbolize humility and repentance, but the mayor’s decree came dressed with the usual accoutrements - printed on fine, invitation-stock paper and wrapped in a bright silver folder, adorned by the magic hat logo Langford commissioned for the city last year.

In the decree, Langford said that Birmingham’s crime problem “pails” (sic) in comparison to the biblical City of Nineveh.

The proclamation tells the Bible story of Jonah and the city of Nineveh: “Whereas Chapter 3, verse 5 & 6, of the Book of Jonah, Old Testament states, that the people of Nineveh believe God and proclaimed a fast and put on sackcloth from the greatest of them even to the least of them,” the resolution reads.

In the proclamation, the mayor puts himself parallel with the King of Nineveh (Jonah 3:7) who, wearing sackcloth and ashes, joined his citizens in prayer.

Langford said last week that “the Constitution of the United States calls for a separation of church and state - it never said anything about a separation of church from state.” He did not mention the Constitution at today’s city council meeting, although he blasted any potential critics who question his piety in public office.

“I could care less what they write about it or say about it,” Langford said. “Because let there be no misunderstanding, just like Satan is at work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days, God is too.”

The mayor’s proclamation urged all “Bishops, Priests, Pastors, Ministers,” and other religious citizens to join him in prayer at the Plan 10/30 summit, which will take place at Boutwell Auditorium this Friday, April 25, at 6 p.m.

The event will be the third Plan 10/30 summit. Previous events have focused on families and crime. In one event, Langford handed out Bibles donated by the 700 Club.

Far from the negative press he received last month for Jefferson County’s financial woes, Langford has been featured and praised by Pat Robertson’s religious news broadcasts.

Meanwhile, Birmingham’s homicide rate continues to outpace figures from this time last year.
To see the full text PDF (you’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader) of the proclamation, click on the image above.

Or watch the video below.

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