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Birmingham columnists on WBHM


WBHM If WBHM’s recent shift away from classical music baroque your heart, then there’s not much we can do for you (except maybe suggest Pandora). In the meantime, Birmingham’s public radio station is taking a greater interest in local news, even bringing newspaper people on the air.

And, they let us sit on the good furniture.

Beginning this week, WBHM will feature Wednesday segments with Birmingham Weekly columnist Kyle Whitmire (I promise I won’t write about myself in the third person again) and Birmingham News columnist John Archibald (booo!!!).

John ArchibaldArchibald gets the morning shift, with a segment called “Plugged.” It promises a more heady agenda, focusing on hoity-toity themes. This week’s segment, which you can hear here, focused on trust, whatever that is.

Meanwhile, I get the afternoon shift, talking about who’s backstabbing whom at City Hall and County Commission. The first segment focused on Jefferson County’s last minute attempts to avoid bankruptcy, the mayor’s wrecked plans for free bus fare and his pesky problem of being sued by the SEC.

Not that this is any sort of competition, but in our first week, I totally whipped Archibald at this radio game. However, he does have a better head shot than I do, which through the wonder’s of Photoshop, I’ve now made even better. My photo, which is at least five years old, dates from my first pathetic attempt to grow a full beard.

But neither of us topped the radio professional. Yesterday, WBHM’s Tanya Ott took Mayor Larry Langford to task for his recent unpleasantness with the SEC and on-going Justice Department investigation. According to Langford, the federal investigations into him are the evil machinations of his campaign opponent Patrick Cooper and, of course, the media. It’s all one great conspiracy.

I’m still waiting on my black helicopter.

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Langford, council at odds over transit vote


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Mayor and council president have two interpretations of free transit vote. Read the full story

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Joel Montgomery’s Blue Plate Special


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Birmingham City Councilor Joel Montgomery rode home in a city car Wednesday night, but not before having words with the press.

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Proclamation of the Hypocalypse


Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford

As revealed by Saint Larry the Divine


War on Dumb by Kyle Whitmire

Chapter 1

1 I looked and there in City Hall a door stood open. 2 And I heard a voice say, “It’s time to do something.” 3 At once I was in the chambers, and there stood a podium with the One strutting before it. 4 Behind the podium was a wide dais and on the dais sat nine councilors and in front of the dais sat department heads who had dominion over all the city works. 5 And behind the One stood 12 ministers from the churches of the city. 6 And I heard him say to them: “If we can have a National Day of Prayer and nobody gets upset, don’t get upset about this one here, and even if you get upset, get upset. We’re still going to have it.”

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Larry Langford: Sackcloth Proclamation


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Mayor Larry Langford to trade Gus Mayer suit for burlap sack. Read story here.

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Leapin’ Larry’s Prayer Proclamation


Leaders to adorn sackcloth and ashes to fight crime

Langford\'s Sackcloth Proclamation

At Tuesday’s Birmingham City Council meeting, Mayor Larry Langford proclaimed Friday, April 25, a “day of prayer in sackcloth and ashes” in Birmingham.

FOLLOW THIS STORY: Langford sports sackcloth, ashes, Rolex (click here)

Birmingham Weekly reported two weeks ago that the mayor purchased 2,000 burlap sacks for ministers and other community leaders to wear at a Plan 10/30 summit.
To many Christians, sackcloth and ashes symbolize humility and repentance, but the mayor’s decree came dressed with the usual accoutrements - printed on fine, invitation-stock paper and wrapped in a bright silver folder, adorned by the magic hat logo Langford commissioned for the city last year.

In the decree, Langford said that Birmingham’s crime problem “pails” (sic) in comparison to the biblical City of Nineveh.

The proclamation tells the Bible story of Jonah and the city of Nineveh: “Whereas Chapter 3, verse 5 & 6, of the Book of Jonah, Old Testament states, that the people of Nineveh believe God and proclaimed a fast and put on sackcloth from the greatest of them even to the least of them,” the resolution reads.

In the proclamation, the mayor puts himself parallel with the King of Nineveh (Jonah 3:7) who, wearing sackcloth and ashes, joined his citizens in prayer.

Langford said last week that “the Constitution of the United States calls for a separation of church and state - it never said anything about a separation of church from state.” He did not mention the Constitution at today’s city council meeting, although he blasted any potential critics who question his piety in public office.

“I could care less what they write about it or say about it,” Langford said. “Because let there be no misunderstanding, just like Satan is at work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days, God is too.”

The mayor’s proclamation urged all “Bishops, Priests, Pastors, Ministers,” and other religious citizens to join him in prayer at the Plan 10/30 summit, which will take place at Boutwell Auditorium this Friday, April 25, at 6 p.m.

The event will be the third Plan 10/30 summit. Previous events have focused on families and crime. In one event, Langford handed out Bibles donated by the 700 Club.

Far from the negative press he received last month for Jefferson County’s financial woes, Langford has been featured and praised by Pat Robertson’s religious news broadcasts.

Meanwhile, Birmingham’s homicide rate continues to outpace figures from this time last year.
To see the full text PDF (you’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader) of the proclamation, click on the image above.

Or watch the video below.

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Langford dressing down for crime summit


Mayor Larry Langford

On Tuesday Mayor Larry Langford told city councilors that he ordered 2,000 burlap sacks for community leaders to wear at the next Plan 10/30 summit. Donning harsh sackcloth is a recurring Bible motif that indicates the wearer’s humility, mourning, and repentance.
“When cities in the early part of … the world’s history, when they had gotten so far from God—
doing idol worship and all kinds of crazy stuff we’re even doing today—that community came to its senses,” said Langford “The Bible tells us that they put on sackcloth and ashes on their face and prayed, and God heard their prayer.”

“So I have ordered, this morning, 2000 burlap bags,” he said.

City Council meetings are rarely short on religious fervor. Local ministers come to request city funding for their faith-based initiatives, and they often use fiery language to garner support from the crowd.

Though the Council is occasionally dismissive of these funding requests, they sometimes invite religious leaders to praise their work. Last week Langford honored Bishop Calvin Woods. This week the Mayor and Council welcomed newly ordained Archbishop Joseph Marino. The Mayor honored the Birmingham native by presenting him with the first of the 2000 sack cloths.

A city official told Birmingham Weekly that the burlap sacks are being paid for with private funds, not taxpayer money

If anyone feels that Langford uses the council dais like a pulpit, the mayor doesn’t seem concerned.
“The Constitution of the United States calls for a separation of church and state—it never said anything about a separation of church from state,” Langford said during the council meeting. “You don’t wanna pray? Fine. Just get your evil self away from me.”

The date of the burlap sack summit is yet to be announced. It will be the fourth of a series of community initiatives collectively called Plan 10/30. The meetings are part of the Mayor’s plan to discourage crime and inspire local youths and community leaders to participate in Birmingham’s growth and revitalization.
“I got a call from someone saying I need to quit mentioning God’s name so much, and so I politely asked him what in hell did they want?” Langford said. “Because there must be something in hell we want because a lot of us are working so hard to get there.”


A few relevant Bible verses …

Jeremiah 6:26:
O my people, put on sackcloth
and roll in ashes;
mourn with bitter wailing
as for an only son,
for suddenly the destroyer
will come upon us.

Isaiah 15:3:
In the streets they wear sackcloth;
on the roofs and in the public squares
they all wail,
prostrate with weeping.

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Birmingham Council approves Fair Park funding


Mayor Larry Langford

After nearly two hours of debate, the Birmingham City Council approved $48 million to fund Mayor Larry Langford’s plans to redevelop Fair Park, even while those plans are incomplete.

The vote passed over strong objections from two councilors who questioned why the council was funding projects when details have not been finalized or made available to the council.

“At this point, I’m not sure what we’re paying for,” Councilor Valerie Abbott said.
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Fair Park plan pilfers dome funding


A proposal from Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford would put a domed stadium on hold at least until 2010 and shift funding for the dome to a massive revitalization project at Fair Park in west Birmingham. The city would also use school bond money for the project according to a memo shared with the city council Friday morning.

Langford presented his Fair Park plan to the city council in a breakfast meeting at the Summit Club. The mayor proposed building an “Olympic village” style complex including track and field, a competition swimming pool and equestrian facilities. Langford claimed that several retailers have shown interest in the Five PointsWest area because of the proposal.
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Council, BOE approve laptop pilot


In a special-called joint meeting Thursday night, the Birmingham Board of Education and the Birmingham City Council approved a plan to distribute 1,000 laptops to students in a pilot program in at least one school.

Last month the Birmingham City Council gave Mayor Larry Langford permission to buy 15,000 XO laptops from the non-profit, One Laptop Per Child, but the school board balked at the offer. Board members said that they had not been consulted on the computer program. The computer program was being forced on them without their asking for it, board members said.

Thursday night, Council President Carole Smitherman apologized to the school board for disparaging comments coming from City Hall. She did not specify who made the comments, but last month Mayor Langford blasted the board for not even being able to collect money at high school basketball games.

The mayor’s office proposed including the school board after another plan politically imploded. Langford originally proposed giving control of the project to the Birmingham Education Initiative, a authority created and appointed by the mayor. BEI was thrown into chaos after its point-person, John Katopodis, was criticized for his role in a previous computers-for-students non-profit he created with Langford. In a lawsuit in state court, records showed that Katopodis used Computer Help for Kids bank accounts for personal expenses and shuffled funds among other charities he controlled.

The pilot program will test the system’s ability to incorporate the laptops into classrooms and identify fiscal and logistical problems.

The school system has estimated that setting up Glen Iris Elementary for the pilot program would cost as much as $30,000. Board member Phyllis Wyne questioned whether the $500,000 promised to the school system by the city would be enough to wire all 31 schools for the program.

The mayor’s office had proposed giving the computers to all students in the Birmingham schools, but Councilor Royal pointed out Thursday night that the funding is not enough to pay for that many computers. The city has agreed to buy 15,000 XO laptops from OLPC for $3,000,000. There are approximately 28,000 students enrolled in Birmingham schools - 13,000 more students than computers.

Board member April Williams proposed that the system limit the program initially to kindergarten through fifth grade. In the future, the city might be able to give more sophisticated computers to older students, Royal said.

Several school board members expressed uncertainty and concern about the program.

Board member Virginia Volker questioned whether the proposed pilot was truly a pilot program. Volker asked whether it was the city’s intention to distribute the remaining 14,000 laptops, no matter if the pilot system succeeded or failed. Neither the council nor the mayor’s representative gave a clear answer. Langford did not attend the meeting.

“I think he should be here to answer his own questions,” Royal said.

Board member Martha Wixon argued that the project should be let for bids and that the school system should be working with more concrete numbers instead of guesswork.

“I have never in my life seen a project of this magnitude with so many gray areas,” Wixon said.

The City of Birmingham did not solicit bids for the computers or make a request for proposals. Alabama’s bid law requires that most purchases more than $7,500 be subject to open bids.

While the city did not let the project for bids, several developing countries have, and the OLPC non-profit has faced stiff competition from similar products, mostly from Intel’s Classmate PC.

The XO laptops have received mixed reviews. While the computers feature unique innovations, such as displays visible in direct sunlight, early adopters have discovered problems with networking and durability of the keyboards.

The XO laptops currently use a Linux-based operating system called Sugar instead of Microsoft’s more common Windows products. However, the mayor’s office has argued that the unusual program will not be a problem for younger, more intuitive learners. Thursday night, most board members seemed to agree.

“The biggest problem will be teaching our teachers,” Williams said.

Board member Dannetta Owens cast the only vote against the pilot program.

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