Transit director David Hill really should read the Weekly more often. The Birmingham News is reporting on al.com that Hill has just now realized that he’s not getting as much money from the city of Birmingham as he thought he would, not as much as Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford promised him. … no … mustn’t be … prideful …

You see, Hill thought he was getting $17 million from Langford for mass transit improvements.

… agh … can’t hold it … much … longer …

But the strange thing was that the tax plan proposed by Langford and approved by the Birmingham City Council included only $9 million for transit.
… turning green … like HULK …

Councilor Valerie Abbott even asked Langford during the debate how much money was going to transit — the $17 million originally proposed, or the $9 million Langford quietly sneaked into the ordinance.

… just … a little … longer …

And we even asked Hill about it the same day as Langford’s State of the City Address. Twice in that speech Langford said that $9 million in new money was going to transit, but when I asked Hill about it just minutes later, he insisted the BJCTA had $17 million in new money headed its way.

… the rage … welling up …

In recent weeks, the BJCTA has even been running ads on local radio stations telling residents what wonderful things would be heading their way because of Mayor Larry Langford, the Birmingham City Council and the truck load of cash they had approved for mass transit improvements in Birmingham.

… can’t … aw screw it …

We told you so!

And not just recently, but THREE MONTHS ago. In the Nov. 29, 2007 issue of the Weekly, we wrote in a column noting the discrepancy:

So what does the Langford administration do when it’s $8 million short? The same thing everyone else has done — screw transit. Quietly, a second draft of Langford’s proposed ordinance cut $17 million for transit to a mere $9 million. The money for the dome, of course, remained the same.

And that wasn’t the only instance. It takes three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop — the same number it takes to tell the truth about Mayor Langford’s promises.

ONE: Leapin’ Larry’s Counting Coup

TWO: MAX’s Magic Math

THREE: Magic City Math

Yup, David Hill bought what Langford was selling and now he looks like a fool.

Popularity: 58% [?]

Thursday night Jefferson County released the second “material event notice” in as many weeks regarding its sewer debt crisis. The news isn’t good.

According to this release, recent downgrades by ratings agencies could soon cause the county’s interest rate swaps to terminate, an event that could cost the county hundreds of millions of dollars. The only way to avoid such terminations is for the county to produce $184 million in insurance or collateral by March 7. According to the notice, the county does not have the revenue or cash on hand to provide such collateral.

The county writes in the notice:

“As of the date of this notice, the County can offer no assurances that it can obtain the required insurance or post the necessary eligible collateral to avoid an Additional Termination Event under the Swap Agreements. If an Additional Termination Event occurs, the respective counterparties will have the right to terminate the respective swap transactions upon notice to the County, in which event the County would be obligated to pay the resulting termination payment in accordance with the provisions of the Swap Agreements. The aggregate amount of the termination payments that would be due is approximately $184 million as of February 27, 2008.”

What’s more, interest rates on variable rate warrants continue to rise and auction rate warrants continue to come due. As the auction rate warrants mature, and the county still cannot pay or find buyers for new bond debt to refinance the old.

“The County has experienced a total of eight failed auctions as of February 27, 2008 with respect to $869,450,000 aggregate principal amount of Auction Rate Warrants,” the county said in the event notice.
The county says that, while it continues to look for solutions to the problems, it can promise none.

More to come as we translate from the original Greek.

Or you can find the whole document here.

Popularity: 86% [?]

City builds mayor deck at taxpayers’ expense

By Kyle Whitmire

Things are changing at Birmingham City Hall, and not just the politics. The building itself has changed, although you might not have noticed if you didn’t know where to look.

I’ve been going there weekly for almost seven years now, and I didn’t notice the difference until someone told me where to look - up.

Read the full story

Popularity: 65% [?]

Commission president still mum on JeffCo debt crisis

In an act of financial triage, the Jefferson County Commission Tuesday approved a resolution to give the Finance Committee special powers to negotiate new agreements with investment banks. Existing contracts with those banks entitle them to as much as $500 million immediately from the county. According to the county, those banks are willing to waive their rights in order to avoid virtual foreclosure on the county.

Were those banks to demand payment, the county does not have the cash on hand to make those payments. Bankruptcy would be all but certain.

Read the full story

Popularity: 45% [?]

In the Memphis underground/garage rock scene, all roads seem to lead to vocalist/guitarist Monsieur Jeffrey Evans. The Ohio native and Memphis resident has established a number of musical projects in his adopted hometown including 68 Comeback, Gibson Brothers and South Filthy. On Saturday, March 1, Evans will head south to perform at Southside’s legendary Upside Down Plaza. Joining Evans at the show will be Birmingham’s own Taylor Holingsworth on guitar.

Read the full story

Popularity: 38% [?]

Popularity: 37% [?]

Popularity: 37% [?]

It’s a cold, gray Monday morning.

I’m on the tenth floor of UAB’s Faculty Office Tower at 5th Avenue South and 20^th Street.

I’m standing at the window, drinking bad coffee from the break room and looking down, across 5^th Avenue, at the pile of rubble that used to constitute — until about 7:10 a.m. on Sunday — the decaying body of the once-grand Parliament House hotel, Birmingham’s monument to 60s kitsch.

I watched the implosion, along with about 20 other people, from the seventh floor of the Kirklin Clinic parking deck at 5^th Avenue South and Arrington Boulevard. I wouldn’t have missed it.

After all, I’m an experience junkie, and I had never witnessed an implosion up close and personal. I was living in Seattle in the late 90s when they brought down the Kingdome, but I missed it, for some stupid reason.

The most striking part of the demolition of the Parliament House for me was the percussive effect of the explosive charges. I didn’t count them, but I have the vague impression that I heard maybe five or six waves or volleys.

At any rate, I felt the explosions in my gut and, just for a few seconds, was overcome by a kind of sad, sick feeling that I was witnessing a hostile act, that something was being killed that didn’t want to die. It’s almost impossible to put into words.

The hotel crumbled and fell quickly, like a condemned prisoner shot by a firing squad, and threw up an enormous dirty-white cloud of dust against a threatening, gray-black sky.

The whole thing was over in a matter of seconds.

There was much hooting and hollering from spectators, and a wave of applause.

“Jesus,” exclaimed a young woman a few feet to my left, expressing a kind of shock and awe.

“That’s awesome,” said a twenty-something guy to my right, expressing the sheer exhilaration that so many guys — including me — often experience when they have the opportunity to watch something get blown up or shot down.

The dust cloud moved quickly to engulf the surrounding buildings, including the Kirklin Clinic and Liberty National, but it virtually disappeared by 7:15 a.m., barely five minutes after the implosion.

And that, my friends, was that, after 44 years, after all the parties and proms and banquets, after Bear Bryant and Broadway Joe and Bob Hope and Tricky Dick Nixon.

Somebody should post a videotape of the implosion on YouTube with a special music cue — a few verses from Parliament House investor Doris Day’s biggest hit, “Que Sera, Sera.” You know the one. “Whatever will be will be, the future’s not ours to see,” and all that shit.

I must admit that I had no personal connection to the Parliament House, but I was still sad to see it go. The same building, had it been located in New York or L.A. or Miami Beach, would have been renovated by somebody like Ian Schrager or Andre Balaz and turned into a retro-cool Rat Pack pleasure pit, something along the lines of The Standard hotels.

Of course, this is Birmingham, a city that virtually no one visits if they don’t absolutely have to, a sad, broken town where, all too often, we don’t build or renovate, we destroy.

Popularity: 38% [?]

IT TAKES A VILLAGE: Just ask Joe Minter, who took his backyard in Titusville and made it into a an African village. Minter’s sculpture Slave Ship: The Ship that We were Hijacked and Kidnapped Out of Africa into American and Europe is currently on display at Vulcan Park, and the artist himself will be there on Tuesday, Feb. 26, for the final “Collective Perspectives” program. This week’s cover story is a photo essay on Minter by the phenomenal photographer Jonathan Purvis.

And speaking of pretty pictures, how about that mayor? And how about the tricky ties of his consultant pal John Katopodis?

Plenty of politicos and their cronies complain about the bad raps their reps get in the press, but it’s often bona fide heroes that really take the beatings.

When times are tough, we seek solace in the stars. And by “we,” I mean J’Mel Davidson. The rest of us just talk about who we’re voting for — in the Birmingham Area Music Awards.

Plus, we always have news, views and entertainment.

Popularity: 54% [?]

Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford’s office has told Birmingham Education Initiative board members that he will disband the board to protect their reputations. The email was sent to BEI board members and Birmingham city councilors by Chief of Staff Deborah Vance.

Langford’s decision comes on the heels of a Birmingham News report yesterday that implicated his previous foundation, Computer Help for Kids, in misuse of public dollars. As Birmingham Weekly reported last year, Computer Help for Kids has been the subject a federal criminal investigation as well as a civil suit between John Katopodis and HealthSouth.

Read the full text of the email below.

On Behalf of the Honorable Mayor Larry P. Langford

Dear Friends and Community Partners:

In light of all the negative publicity surrounding my efforts to establish a legitimate board of volunteers necessary for the management and dissemination of computers for Birmingham’s children, I want to sincerely apologize for any hardship endured by you and your wonderful institutions these last few weeks.

It was never my intention to disparage the personal reputations of you as outstanding citizens in this community nor the institutions you represent. Therefore, I respectfully request that each of you withdraw your names from the board established to manage the computer program. I will allow members of the City Council to appoint the board so that we can move forward in providing our children with computers in hopes of closing the digital divide and providing technology to our most precious resources, our children.

Never again will I ask anyone, much less persons of your high integrity and intentions, to volunteer their services to our community.

Sincerely,
Mayor Larry Langford
via Deborah Vance, Chief of Staff

The email follows another that Katopodis sent to some councilors, BEI board members and others. In that email, he says that starring in porn is not as bad as being a reporter for the Birmingham News. Read that email below.

The appropriate place to answer the unproven allegations in today’s Birmingham News is in court next month when my longstanding lawsuit against Healthsouth finally comes to trial. Suffice it to say that if the facts and the law were on the side of Healthsouth, they would not resort to the sleazy tactics they have used, including leaking depositions not filed in court to the News and involving the IRS.

The motivations of Healthsouth are clear, but the timing in all this can only be construed as an attempt to derail one of the Mayor’s best initiatives, the OLPC laptop program. It is a very tenuous nexus between what I may or may not have done at Computer Help and the Council of Cooperating Governments eight years ago and a program in which I will have no role, other than initial organization and negotiation, now complete. I can assure you that Mayor Langford had no involvement whatsoever in the management of the computer charity which refurbished and gave away over 6000 computers to disadvantaged groups and individuals. Again we will address all of this in court, albeit not relevant to the central issue in our case.

I do, however, feel compelled to address the most salacious allegation involving the employment of a “pornographic” star. Although Mr. Donais did legitimate work for the charities, among other things maintaining our website, he was never paid with taxpayer funds. And in fact, his background compared favorably to that of others we hired under the federal work release program where we were a certified employer.
These individuals worked at our warehouse and in administrative roles and our intent was to help them get another chance at a productive life, putting their past behind them. Hopefully, none of them have gone on to be investigative reporters at the Birmingham News whose ethics and tactics make staring in a porn movie look almost saintly.

Dr. John Katopodis

Popularity: 68% [?]