OK, so there’s no big surprise there. But according to one sexual health professional, the reason men and women face sexual problems in this day and age may come as a surprise.
“You have to look at males and females differently,” says Jane Brown, a sex therapist with over 20 years experience who works in private practice and at UAB’s Kirklin Clinic. Brown has a master’s in psychology from UAB and is licensed by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, specializing in male and female sexual desire problems, couples with sexual problems and sex offender assessment and treatment.
“Ninety percent of sexual dysfunction in men has a medical basis, only five to 10 percent is purely psychological,” she says. “Female sexual dysfunction is really just now being addressed, but as opposed to males, there is a major psychological factor in female sexual dysfunction, although there can be a medical cause.”
According to Brown, two major factors can contribute to female sexual dysfunction or anxiety: history of chronic abuse or a strict home environment with negative messages about sex. Young people need more education about what is healthy sexuality, she says. Data compiled by the federal government shows that abstinence-only sex education is not working and funding for programs may soon be cut, according to recent reports.
“Parents think saying, ‘I do’ means everything is OK and now their child can go off and have a healthy sexual relationship. And in my experience adults are just as in the dark as young people. Thanks to abstinence-only education, there are women who aren’t even prepared to see a man naked,” Brown says. “Thanks to the media and Harlequin romance novels, there are women who think men are always ready to have sex and never experience sexual dysfunction.”
Yearning to know more about sex and everything that goes along with it? Today is your lucky day!
Jay Friedman, a licensed sex educator, will give a free public lecture titled “The J Spot: A Sex Educator Tells All” tonight at 7 p.m. in the Alumni Auditorium at UAB’s Hill University Center, located at 1400 University Blvd. Call 934-8000 to learn more.
In the end, while their experience and techniques may be different, Friedman and Brown don’t bump heads when it comes to what’s really important about bumping uglies – communication.
“If there’s not a caring, trusting relationship, it’s not going to work,” Brown says. “Sex is a very personal, individual matter. You can give people a bunch of techniques and positions, but one size doesn’t fit all.”
And if you are feeling a little randy, our experts have a few racy recommendations:
Friedman recommends using water-based lubricant in the reservoir tip of a condom for an entirely different feeling. He also recommends Kegel exercises – contracting and releasing the muscles at the base of the pelvis — for both men and women to increase sexual strength and stamina.
Brown recommends reading The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Tracey Cox and The Guide To Getting It On, by Paul Joannides with illustrations by Daerick Gross for couples who simply want to spice up their sex life.
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