If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Of course it does stupid! You think just cause you’re not around, physics just stops working? You’re so full of yourself.
A more important question is, If a beer falls in a forest and no one is around to drink it, does it make you burp? A question philosophers have asked for years. Or maybe just the brewers at the Back Forty Beer Company were asking that. Who knows? What I do know is, Ruffner Mountain Nature Center is having a little benefit shindig tonight featuring the aforementioned Back Forty Beer, all the way from the far off land of Gadsden, Alabama! Yes, if you’re reading this between the hours of 10:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. on Thursday, November 17th, 2011, then you have time to plan a trip out to Ruffner Mountain for the Beer on the Backporch FUNdraiser, which goes from 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. If you’re reading this on Friday, November 18th, 2011, you missed it but can still donate to the worthy cause. If you’re reading this on Monday, November 14th, 2011, why would you travel three days into the future, get the latest copy of the Birmingham Weekly then return to the present just so you can read this before anyone else? You are the most impatient and lame time traveler I’ve ever heard of.
Lame or not, you should check out the Beer on the Backporch FUNdraiser!
They even used all caps on the letters F, U, and N in fund raiser. By law if you do that, it has to be FUN or they’ll be fined by the government. Ruffner Mountain Nature Center is over 1,000 acres of undeveloped land on Birmingham’s Red Mountain ridge know as Ruffner Mountain. It’s just a 10 minute drive from downtown Birmingham, but when you get there it’s like you’re in a completely different world teaming with wildlife and walking trails. The structure that stands out beautifully in the woods is the Treehouse Visitor Center. It’s a building that even Frank Lloyd Wright would approve of. If you disagree with me, then you’re just Frank Lloyd Wrong! See what I did there? I’m so clever. The building features the Tree Top Activity Room for meetings and events, the Woodland Animal Exhibit Hall, the Nature of the City Gift Shoppe and the Visitor Information Center. The Back Porch Pavilion is where the picnic area, and bathrooms are located and where programs and events are held, like this one.
Hence the name, Beer on the Backporch.
Along with being a great place to experience nature, Ruffner is also a non-profit.
In these crazy economic times we live in, Birmingham has had to reduce it’s budget for Ruffner by about 70%. I certainly hope that they can reinstate some of that in the future. I really enjoy Ruffner and would hate to not have it running at full capacity. Hopefully through events like this, philanthropy and other sources they can keep things going.
I’m not paid or even asked by anyone at Ruffner to tell you about this back porch party. I just sincerely love the place. And since it’s a benefit, they probably wouldn’t have the money to pay my extravagant endorsement fee anyway.
Thirty dollars cash, a free t-shirt and a sandwich. And I know what you’re thinking and the answer is yes. I will accept said sandwich only if it has fancy brown mustard. A fancy condiment for a fancy man I always say. I thought about talking to someone at Ruffner like Executive Director, Robbie Fearn.
Then I thought, wait a minute! You’re the executive director of a nature center and your last name is Fearn?! That’s either fate or you’re pulling my leg! Fearn?
What are the odds? Even though Robbie and Ruffner’s connection seemed like divine intervention, I decided to interview someone who frequents Ruffner Mountain with the rest of the everyday, ordinary citizens. To get the honest opinion of a patron who truly loves Ruffner mountain. So I interviewed a squirrel.
Who knows more about nature than a squirrel right? Here’s an excerpt from my interview.
CD: What makes Ruffner Mountain so appealing to you?
SQUIRREL: Squeak squeak squeaka squeak. Squeeee.
CD: I’m sorry, I don’t speak squirrel. Could you speak English please?
SQUIRREL: Racist!
CD: I am not racist. I just don’t speak your language.
SQUIRREL: Don’t or don’t want to?
Alright fella, get on with your questions.
CD: Will you be attending the Beer on the Backporch FUNdraiser?
SQUIRREL: That event where they spell the f, u, and n in fund raiser with all caps?
CD: Yes, that’s the one.
SQUIRREL: No, I won’t be attending.
CD: But why? It’s benefiting Ruffner Mountain Nature Center.
SQUIRREL: I know. It’s a great event for an admirable cause that the whole city should turn out for and support. We must have sanctuaries like this to escape from the everyday hum drum. When the city, suburbs and rural life are too much, it’s a wonderful place to come and relax and get in tune with nature.
CD: Then why aren’t you going?
SQUIRREL: Cause I’m a squirrel idiot! You need a valid i.d. to drink beer. When was the last time you saw a squirrel with a valid i.d.?
CD: I’m sorry. I didn’t think about your kind having trouble with such things.
SQUIRREL: Your kind? Squeak you buddy!
Okay, my interview wasn’t the greatest, but I hope you can make it out to the event tonight. Beer drinker or not, they’d love your support. If you can’t make it, please do yourself a favor and try Ruffner one weekend. You’ll be glad you did. Birmingham has proven itself to be a very giving city. If you’re able, I’m sure Ruffner appreciates every little bit because every little bit counts. And when you do visit, tell that squirrel “squeak squeak squeak”. He’ll know what ya mean.