Hey, 440 some-odd days until the 2012 election! Excited yet? Sure you are!
Michele Bachmann won the Iowa straw poll, a black guy is running for the GOP nomination and Christine O’Donnell is walking off the set of Piers Morgan Tonight. It’s a great time to be alive.
Let me tell you this:
I sure hope that Libya has better luck with their democracy than we’re having with ours. I’m beginning to gravitate toward Fareed Zakaria’s plan of eliminating Congress altogether and moving towards a parliamentary form of government.
If there was anything we learned from the debt ceiling debacle, it was that average Americans are fed up with everyone they elected—regardless of party affiliation. Herpes is more popular than Congress.
At least, according to the latest polling, both are registering very high negatives.
And itchiness. No one escaped unscathed from the debt debate—not the President, not the oompa-loompa who runs the House, nobody.
The floor is open for any politician with half a brain to step forward and explain, in a way that makes sense, why we’re borrowing 41 cents for every dollar we spend and why some members of Congress would rather cut Medicare than make Exxon Mobil cough up their fair share on April 15. It should come as no surprise to you that no one has stepped forward as of yet, but we will stay tuned.
In the meantime, the President blames Congress, Congress blames the President and we’re buying our groceries at the Dollar Store. (Just how do you “devil” a ham, exactly?) You’d think that the GOP would capitalize on this, right? You anoint a candidate who isn’t a complete moron, teach him or her a couple of groovy, centrist catchphrases, then unleash the beast on the populace at large and, boom, the weakened President goes from Hope-N-Change to One-N-Done. But this isn’t the Eisenhower GOP, is it? This is the “holy s**t, hide the sharp objects” GOP of the 21st century, where females must abide by their husbands bidding, Big Mac value meals are cheap and plentiful, polar bears are stranded on small icebergs for our amusement and rational thought makes you go blind.
“PolySigh” is a weekly political column by Matt Hooper. Send your feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org.