THURS JULY 1
[INSERT NAME HERE], COME ON DOWN: You are the next contestant on Game Show Night at Crestwood Tavern. Join host “Barb Barker” for a series of “low tech, social, creative, intuitive Game-Show-Style Games” for your right brain. And probably your left brain too. There are all kinds of games, from “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire,” in which you guess which stories are fake and which story is real, to “Who? What?” in which contestants match answers to those that gave them. There’s also “Human Scrabble,” “Plop Plop Fizz Fizz,” and several more games that you’ll just have to see to believe. Game Show Night starts at 7 p.m. and ends at 9:30, when Game Shows for Drunk People begins. It’s fun, it’s free, and it’s worth it. So get on out to Crestwood Tavern and win yourself something. For more information call (205) 510-0053.
FRIDAY JULY 2
Extemporize: Give your
chuckle bucket a
workout with the Extemporaneous Theatre Company at Birmingham Festicval Theatre on Friday, July 2nd.
GET READY TO IMPROV! Alright, so one of the best things about improv theatre is that the audience gets to participate.
So, the first thing we need from you is an event title.
The Spanish Inquisition? It’s been done. The Langford Inquisition? That’s a good one, but the Department of Justice has taken care of that. Project Codename: Vulcan’s Underpants? That’s perfect, let’s do that. Okay, now we need a venue. The Vulcan’s ass? No, we’re not in Homewood. What? What was that? Birmingham Festival Theatre, that’s great. Okay, so we’re going to do some short-form improv theatre with a talented cast of long-time improv artists and several newcomers, and we’re going to call it Vulcan’s Underpants and we’re going to do it at the Birmingham Festival Theatre. We should do some Whose Line Is It Anyway? style games, and some new stuff you’re not expecting. We expect this to not only be a hilarious romp through the world of improv theatre that forces the audience as a whole—and occasionally individual audience members—to participate, but a learning experience as well. All right, so the last thing we need is a time and cost to get in. Okay, I heard $15, $12, and free. Okay, so $15 at the door, $12 in advance. On Thursday, you can pay what you can afford (with a $5 minimum). 8 p.m. sounds good. Shows are on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night—same bat time, same bat place. For more information call (205) 687-5233 or visit www.extemperaneoustheatre.com.
SAT JULY 3
Stars, Fire, Wine and Guitars: Townes van Zandt knew where it was 
at,
and so does Morgan Creek Winery in Harpersville, Alabama. Join them for
a July 4th Celebration in the Vineyards.
I’D WELCOME THE STARS [AND BARS] WITH WINE AND GUITARS: Townes van Zandt sings a song—one of my absolute favorite songs ever—called “Rake.” It’s a pretty damn sad song—one that’s good to listen to while you’ve got a guitar on your lap and a cold glass of whiskey in your hand. The first verse goes like this: “I used to wake and run with the moon, I lived like a rake and a young man. I covered my lovers with flowers and wounds, my laughter the devil would frighten. The sun she would come and beat me back down, but every cruel day had its nightfall. I’d welcome the stars with wine and guitars, full of fire and forgetful.” Now you can welcome the stars and bars with wine and guitars, and there will be fire…works. Just head out to Morgan Creek Winery in Harpersville, Alabama, for their July 4th Celebration in the Vineyards. You can tour the winery, taste their offerings, hear live music by Tekneek, purchase wine by the glass or bottle, buy some barbecue or bring your own, and enjoy a patriotic fireworks display. All at a vineyard! How nice is that! So go, live like a rake and a young man, full of fire and forgetful. The celebration starts at 6 p.m. and ends at 10 p.m. Admission is $10. For more information call (877) 672-2053 or visit www. morgancreekwinery.com.
SUN JULY 4
THE VULCAN LIGHTS HIS FARTS: No score and nine years ago, our fathers, who were pyros, brought forth on this city a new competition, likely conceived in Inebriety, and dedicated to the proposition that not all fireworks shows are created equal. Then we were engaged in a great civil war, testing whether SkyConcert 2001 on June 30, or Thunder on the Mountain on July 4, was a better conceived celebration of this great nation, and whether this city can twice endure Lee Greenwood songs. We were met on a great battle-field of that war, Red Mountain. We were come to light up a portion of that sky, a final resting place for the incendiary devices who there gave their lives that the Vulcan might light a fart. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should blow shit up. But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate... we cannot consecrate... we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who lit fireworks here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what happened here, but Bhamwiki.com never forgets. Thunder on the Mountain won that great civil war, of course, and SkyConcert died because it sucked and stuff. But we here highly resolve that SkyConcert shall not have died in vain—that this city, under William, shall have a new birth of fireworks— and that Thunder on the Mountain: at 9 p.m., broadcast on The Eagle 106.9, launched from Vulcan Park, shall not perish from the earth. For more information, look up at 9 p.m.
MON JULY 5
B-I-N-G-O FOR BAO: What’s better than bingo? Nothing really, but bingo for charity makes you feel good about gambling, so maybe that’s better! And it’s Pride Week! And this isn’t that “electronic bingo”
crap. It’s the real deal—cards, drawn numbers, everything. If you enjoy a fine game of random number selection, come support Birmingham AIDS Outreach and play a game of bingo! This almost 500-year-old game can get you a whole lot of coin—prizes at BAO Bingo range from $50 to $250 a game. If you can’t make it this Monday, catch BAO Bingo the first Monday of every month. The entrance fee is $15, and game cards are $1 a piece. The game starts at 7 p.m. (doors at 6), and it’s held at 205 32nd St. South. If you’re under 19, stay at home. For more info call (205) 322-4197 or visit birminghamaidsoutreach.org.
TUE JULY 6
OscAR’s NO GROuch: Who says lunchtime is for relaxation. Everyone knows it’s for getting work done while you eat, but if you just can’t bear to catch up on your e-mails while you wolf down that soggy sandwich you packed, than perhaps you could go in for a little selfedification for a change. You never know, you might learn all kinds of things if you just stop re-hashing that last meeting you had. If I’m talking your language than Oscar’s is just the place for you. Located in the Birmingham Museum of Art, Oscar’s is a new café situated comfortably in amongst the art and statuary on display. Head down at noon today for Artbreak: The Design and Culinary Art of Oscar’s if you want to hear graphic designer James Williams and chef Lorrin Rames talk about how they made the restaurant. The talk is only 20 minutes and it’s free, so don’t worry about spending all your lunch money. For more information call (205) 254-2571 or visit www.artsbma.org.
WED JULY 7
NETWORK: Network was a good movie, or so I’m told. It’s also something you want to do in order to advance your career, or so I’m told. The group known as YPBirmingham hosts a monthly networking event for young professionals called The Monthly Mingle. In June, the event is at Birmingham Botanical Gardens in Mountain Brook, where there will be some food to grub on and drinks to drink on. There will be an optional networking game to embarrass everyone, and there’ll be a local non-profit that will benefit from the event—this month it’s the Botanical Gardens. So check it out, if you’re a young professional that is. It starts at 5:30 p.m. For more information visit www.ypbirmingham.com.
THURS JULY 8
LOVE YOUR MOM FOR BLACK WARRIOR RIVERKEEPER: Two of the members of Mama’s Love went to Auburn University, but seemingly turned out alright despite that. That may have been where they got the name for their band—Mama’s Love is the signature sandwich at Mama Goldberg’s, a perpetually popular deli/ café in Auburn, despite being in Auburn. Maybe you’ve caught Mama’s Love in concert and enjoyed their funky Widespread Panic/Grateful Dead/Little Feat-inspired sound. But if you haven’t checked them out yet, Thursday would be a great time to do just that. You see, they’re playing for the sixth (of ten) Jam in the ‘Ham shows at Zydeco, a live music series that benefits Black Warrior Riverkeeper. Magic Hat Brewing Co. and March One Music are presenting the series, which has previously featured Darryl Hance of Mofro, Zoogma, and The Pimps of Joytime. Showgoers will be greeted by $5 pitchers of Magic Hat No. 9 and $2.50 tallboys of Pabst Blue Ribbon. There’s really no reason you shouldn’t go. It starts at 9:30 p.m. Tickets are $5 in advance; $7 day-of-show. For more information call (205) 933-1032 or visit www.zydecobirmingham.com.
star09
